Five things, p.20
Five Things, page 20
She gasps, her eyes filling as she blinks against the emotions.
“I am in love with you, Bumblebee. I always have been, and I don’t think there will ever be a day that I’m not.” She stares at me, not a single word coming out of her. After a minute or two, I’m not even sure she’s breathing as her body remains locked in place, her face frozen with her mouth wide open.
“I don’t need you to say it back. In fact, I don’t even want you to. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Only when you’re really sure. But I need you to know that I am. I love you. I’ve fucked up so many things in my life when it comes to us, but this won’t be one of them. You’re it. You’re my one. And I want to spend a lifetime with you, proving to you that I’m the right choice. You will always be safe with me, Bumblebee. So what do you say? Wanna give this a go, you and me?”
Another minute passes, and my throat clams up the longer she goes without speaking. I’m about to pull away, wondering if I can somehow take back everything I just said, though I know I won’t. But she finally moves, her hands grabbing at the shirt plastered to my chest as she pushes onto her tiptoes and tugs me close.
Stumbling, my other hand lands on the roof of her car, steadying myself in time for her lips to find mine. The kiss is awkward and sweet just like her, but it’s meaningful all the same. She’s telling me the words she can’t say.
Her lips move over mine. It’s raw and wet, and we’re fumbling to find our rhythm as I crowd into her. My heart races in its cage, threatening to burst out of me, but the only thing I feel is contentment. This is right. Beatrice was always meant to be mine, and I just hope she’s willing to stick around long enough to figure that out.
Pulling my hands from the car, I cup her face, tipping her head back as I press her flush to the metal. She gasps, letting me push my tongue past her lips, and I take great pleasure in devouring her. Maybe I missed out on the whole not kissing thing until now, but there isn’t another person I’d want to do this with.
Cheers erupt around us, whoops and whistles following. A hand slaps against my back, a mumbled “Atta boy” from Nash as he passes. Beatrice chuckles, the vibrations pass over my lips before I pull away.
She heaves in a shaky breath, a soft smile on her face as her eyes flutter open, and she glances up at me. Her green irises hold a thousand emotions, ones I can’t read, and others I daren’t assume what they mean.
“You wanna get out of here?” I ask, stepping back.
She unlocks her car, gesturing for me to get in, and I do, rushing around to the passenger seat. Before she can clip her seat belt, I grab her face once more, pressing another lingering kiss to her lips, just because I can.
I chuckle at the awestruck expression on her face, adjusting my seat until my long legs are comfortable as she peels out of the parking spot, fiddling with the radio.
“Where do you wanna go?” she asks, flicking her eyes to mine.
“Wherever you’re going.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Beatrice
My dorm is a mess when I push the door open, and I block Maverick’s entry, slamming it shut before he can enter.
“On second thought, maybe we just go to your place?” I say, starting back down the hall. He tugs my hand, grabbing my keys before he spins me, pressing his chest to my back.
He guides us back to my door, unlocking it quickly before shoving it open. “Babe, I know you’re messy. You always have been. So stop stalling.”
“I’m not stalling . . .” He nudges me inside with his hands at my hips.
“Yes, you are.” He chuckles, letting go of me and locking the door before he walks past me. Making himself at home in my kitchenette, he pulls open the fridge, helping himself to a beer left over from when Maisie last stayed the night. “You wanna tell me why?”
I keep my mouth closed, unable to voice my thoughts aloud. What if I’m reading too much into this and he decides he wants just another night with me? What if he wakes up tomorrow and realizes I’m not worth more than that? What if on my bad days he doesn’t want to stick around, finding me too hard to deal with? He said he loves me, but what if he doesn’t mean it? What if this is all a game? Love is dangerous. Love hurts. What if I can’t survive his love?
So many what-ifs and none I can answer. The one person who can, I daren’t ask in fear I’ll push him away with the endless questions and worries.
“Okay, I’ll start,” he says when I still don’t say anything after a long minute. He props the bottle on the counter, leaning his back against the marble. “You’re scared that I’m going to run, right? Or that I’m going to turn around and say I don’t want this after all?” He watches me closely, assessing my reaction. “How am I doing?”
“Two for two so far,” I whisper, my eyes dipping to the floor.
“I can’t promise you that I won’t stumble, Bumblebee. Or that I won’t fuck this up somewhere down the line. I’ve never done this, and your own experience of a relationship isn’t a good starting point for either of us. But I can promise that I’m in this, and that I’m not him.”
I nod, my lips quivering as I pull in a shuddering breath. I know that. Even on his worst days, Maverick is the best human I’ve ever known.
“We’ll figure this out together, one day at a time. Okay?”
“Okay,” I echo, forcing my feet to move until I’m within reach of him. He curls his arms around me, holding me against him as if I were a piece of china. Breakable. It seems I’m not the only one with worries where we’re concerned.
He presses a kiss to my head, then my nose before he tips my jaw upward, finally claiming my lips, and all the words I can’t say aloud I pour into my kiss. Maybe I’ll never be able to tell him I love him, or give him the assurances he may need, but I can at least give him this.
I can give him me, without reservations or caution.
My hands move over his chest, dipping until I reach the waistband of his joggers. I push them down, his boxers dropping until his hard length springs out, pushing against me.
I moan into his mouth, curling my hand around him and giving him a gentle tug. He shudders, and it only makes my confidence grow as I place my free hand on his chest, pushing him until he bounces off the wall.
“Bumblebee.” He tears his lips from mine on a groan, his thumb sweeping over the moisture left on my lips, and I can’t stop the smile that breaks on my face. My hand tightens, stroking him as he shudders.
I press my lips to his jaw, placing a gentle kiss there before I drag them down his neck, suckling at his pulse point for a second. He heaves out a breath, but he keeps his hands to himself as he lets me explore his body while my hand continues to work at his erection.
My lips linger on his chest, pressing over the sun etched into his skin before I move over his nipple, my tongue flicking over the peaked bud. He hisses out a curse, his body tensing as I place a kiss there before I move farther down.
“You don’t have to . . .” His breath shudders when I drop to my knees, my gaze zeroing in on his dick. I don’t offer him any words or tell him that I do have to. I press a kiss to his tip before opening my mouth and drawing him inside. “Okay, maybe you do. Fuck yes. Yes, you do.”
I chuckle around him, my tongue flicking over the bead of precum that drips from him. The explosion of taste on my tongue overwhelms me, and I hollow my cheeks, flicking my eyes up to him.
His are squeezed closed as I explore him with my mouth, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. I continue to roll my tongue around him, alternating between sucking and flicking. He pulses inside me, and I grab his hand, wrapping it around my head.
“Show me,” I mutter around him, and he curses again. “Show me how you like it, Maverick. Fuck my mouth like I know you want to.”
“I-I d-don’t—” His words fail him as I grip his thigh, digging my fingers in as I suck him to the back of my throat. I choke over his length, but instead of feeling fear as it takes my breath away, I want more. “Fuckkkk.”
His fingers thread through my hair, his grip firm but gentle as he moves me up and down his length. With each thrust to the back of my throat, my center pulses, wetness dampening my panties.
I clench my thighs together, trying to find some much needed friction as he fucks my mouth. His hips piston, his length filling me as he pulses. “I’m going to come,” he hisses, his teeth clenched.
He tries to pull me away, but I suck harder, keeping him in my mouth as his orgasm takes over his body. He trembles as he stands, his length pulsating as cum hits the back of my throat in long streams.
“Shit . . .” His chest heaves, and his eyes dip down, locking on mine as I deliver a final lick to his tip, swallowing every bit of cum that lingers on my tongue. “Holy fuck, Bea.”
He bends down, his hands shaky as he lifts me into his chest. My legs wrap around him, my clit pulsing with need as his still-hard dick presses against me. The friction from the seam of my jeans is enough to have me panting.
He carries me into my bedroom, depositing me on my bed as he crawls over me. He leans down, claiming my lips once more. And in this moment, Maverick Brady steals the final pieces of me, and I’m not sure I ever want him to give them back. Not anymore.
Maverick
Beatrice shivers beneath me as my hands run over her tattoo. Her top is pushed up, allowing my fingers to trace every single line as I commit them to memory.
“You gonna tell me about it?” I ask her when I trace the symbols on her spine. “It’s beautiful, Bumblebee. Just like you.”
“Who knew you were such a sweet talker?” She chuckles, tugging her shirt down as she shuffles on the bed until she’s facing me. I wait her out, and her eyes dip as she chews her lip.
Using my thumb, I tug the skin from between her teeth, dropping a light kiss to her mouth. She sighs, her hand pressing to my chest as she runs her fingers over my skin.
“I’d been playing about with this drawing for a while, not really sure what I wanted to do with it, but I knew it was something I needed to keep. Then, one day, one of Dad’s tattoo-artist friends came over to touch up Mom’s name on Dad’s neck, and he saw me fiddling with the drawing and said it would make a great tattoo. And I guess the moment he said that, something just clicked, and I knew that’s what it was meant to be. It was how I got to keep it with me; how I got to keep you, forever.”
Her words hit me straight in the chest, and my heart races. “What does it mean?”
She smiles, her eyes finding mine in the darkening room. They’re alight with happiness, something I didn’t realize I’d missed seeing from her. “The symbols are Greek numerals, and the flowers and feathers, well they’re just pretty, and I wanted to surround the numbers with beauty.”
“You’re not going to tell me what the numbers are?” I ask, narrowing my eyes. She shakes her head, chuckling. I drop another kiss to her lips before climbing over her and grabbing my phone from where she plugged it in on the nightstand.
Loading up Google, I type out “Greek numerals,” bringing up a series of hits. I click the first one, nudging Beatrice’s shoulder until she’s laying on her front again. I push her shirt up, flicking on the lamp on her nightstand as I scroll through the site, my eyes finding the numbers instantly.
Zero, nine, one, five. The same as the pin to her phone.
The numbers in themselves tickle a memory that wants to burst free. I rack my brain, filtering through the years we’ve known each other until I find the one I’m looking for. I choke on a breath, and she rolls again, her back flat to the bed.
“September fifteenth . . .”
“The day you joined the high school football team and officially got handed the number fifteen jersey,” she whispers, her words confirming my thoughts. My mouth gapes, and I try to find something to say, but nothing comes out. “That was the day I saw you become someone. Someone to really be proud of. You knew, the minute Coach Saunders handed you that jersey, you knew exactly where you were going and what your purpose was in the world. That day gave me hope that one day I’d find my purpose too. My therapist told me in one of our first sessions that I needed to find light on the dark days, something that made me want to keep moving forward no matter how bad things got.”
“Bumblebee—”
“You’re my reason, Maverick,” she mutters, rolling over and lifting until her face is inches from mine. “No matter where we are in our lives, or how much distance is between us, it always comes back to you. That day, you changed my life. And then you changed it again and again. You have saved me and brought me back to life so many times, way more than you’ll ever know. What you said back there, at the parking lot?”
I nod, my eyes misting as I blink, trying to push the too strong emotions down.
“I’ve fucked up too, so many times,” she says, leaning forward to press the sweetest kiss to my lips. “But coming here, finding you again? That isn’t one of them, and no matter what tomorrow brings, you will always be the light in my life.”
“I’m so fucking sorry.” Her brows snap up, her lips turning down. “I should have never let you go. Not when you were fourteen, and especially not when you were seventeen. I am so sorry I left you to suffer on your own. I will spend every single day of the rest of my life trying to fix those mistakes. I wasn’t lying when I said wherever you go, I’ll follow. You are everything, Bumblebee. And I am sorry that I ever let you think otherwise. Never again. You won’t be alone anymore. You’re stuck with me.”
“You promise?” she asks, her arms wrapping around my neck, and I know I can’t do anything but make that promise to her. There isn’t a world I exist without Beatrice Fletcher in it. I tried. For two long years, I tried to live without her, but I wasn’t happy … not really. And in the end, I think I was always destined to find her again.
“I promise,” I say. “Every single day, for the rest of my life.”
Her eyes flutter closed and a beautiful smile splits her lips, and I commit that image to memory too, knowing there isn’t a thing I won’t do to see that smile again and again.
“You know it’s your turn now, right?” she says, pulling back. I frown but then her eyes dip to my chest, the image of the sun and the outline of a pier etched into my skin forever.
It’s funny, really. Those moments in time that matter so much, but you never think about them until it’s too late. Beatrice has that, inked into her skin forever, and so do I. But my memory is different. She may not know her purpose in life, but she helped me find mine.
“Remember the day you told my dad I was going to go pro?” I ask her, and she nods, her eyes narrowing at the memory. For as long as I can remember, it was thought I’d follow in my dad’s footsteps, taking over the family accountancy business, but it never felt right. “God, I used to suck at math.”
“Used to?”
I flick her nose, and she laughs, the sound melodic and full of joy. “Don’t be a brat.”
“I’m not,” she says, mischief in her eyes. “Now please, continue.”
“Needy,” I tell her, pulling in a breath. “Dad was so disappointed in me that day, and I felt like shit. But then you took my hand and asked me to take you to the beach, telling my dad bye as you dragged me out of my house without bothering to look back. I thought my life was over because I’d disappointed my parents, but you just smiled and told me it would all be okay as we walked hand in hand along the pier. You made me laugh, even when I thought my whole world was about to crumble beneath me. You didn’t care if I sucked at math, or didn’t want to join the family business, you just wanted me to be happy, and that day changed everything for me.”
“You never could have been anything but a football player, Maverick. It’s in your bones. Out there, on the field? You transform into someone else entirely, and it’s like you find where you belong every single time. I’ve always envied that, you know? You knowing who you are and what you’re meant to do. It’s the most beautiful thing.”
“Uu-uh.” I shake my head, curling my arms around her and pull her into my chest. She rests her head on my heart, the steady thump comforting. “You are the most beautiful thing.”
She presses a kiss to my tattoo, and sighs wistfully.
We talk into the early hours of the morning, saying nothing and everything all at once, and as the sun comes up and Beatrice’s eyes flutter closed, I whisper her name.
“Yeah,” she mumbles, her fingers dancing over my chest as her breaths even out.
“You’re my reason too,” I tell her, dropping a kiss to the crown of her head. “Even when I didn’t know it.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Beatrice
“We’re going out today,” Maverick says, letting himself into my dorm. I really need to get the locks changed. Between him and Maisie just sauntering in here, and Nash also welcoming himself in with Maisie’s key when he wants to watch films and hang, this place has become a free-for-all.
Maverick walks up behind me, one arm wrapping around my waist as he drops a kiss to the top of my head and his free hand circles mine, pulling it away from the coffee I’ve been nursing for the last twenty minutes.
“Go get dressed.” He taps my ass with his hand, setting me free and nudging me toward my bedroom. Opening my mouth, I try to ask him where we’re going and what the hell I’m supposed to wear, but he doesn’t let me. “Casual and comfy, babe.”
My eyes narrow on him. “Maybe I was going to say I’m busy.”
“No, you weren’t, you were going to ask me where we’re going.” He smirks, sending me a wink when I scowl at him. “And it’s a surprise. So, go. I’ll heat your coffee up and toss it in a to-go cup for you.”
“You’re annoying,” I grumble, spinning around and pushing my bedroom door open. He shouts something back, but I close the door before the words can penetrate my ears, and I’m glad for it, since it sounded awfully close to a muffled, Yet you love me. And I’m not there just yet.
