Lady macbethad, p.24
Lady MacBethad, page 24
I froze.
‘But you have someone here,’ I said.
Gillecomghain shook his head and continued to speak, though now he couldn’t meet my eye.
‘Were it not for you and Lulach, when Mael Colum was killed I could have returned.’
‘Were it not for me, you would be under his thumb still. You have no idea what I have done for you. For us,’ I spat out.
Gillecomghain reared up his head and I panicked. I had often thought of confessing to him what I had done to secure our safety, but was not sure how he would respond. Now I wondered if I had spoken too rashly. But he looked away without challenging me, settling back into his chair. I could read what he was thinking on his face, as clearly as if he had spoken.
Even you are not capable of that.
‘I allow many things, and I turn a blind eye to many indiscretions. But if I hear any word that you are on your way to Ireland, I will send men to return you and expose you for what you are,’ I said.
‘Do you think they would let you rule Moray without me?’ he replied, but he was not as practised in making threats as I.
‘Yes. The people of Moray are loyal to me. They would go to war for me if I wished it.’
Gillecomghain scoffed again.
‘You are naïve if you think, because of a few years of prosperity, people here will risk their lives for you. Your authority is only accepted thanks to me. I may lurk in the shadows, but my presence as your husband ensures their obedience. Take that away and see how fast your power crumbles.’
He did not speak in anger but rather the steady voice of truth. It cut straight through to my deepest insecurities and the fragility of my position. I would not be safe until I wore the crown upon my head, the thought of it enraging.
‘We must both accept the fate we have been given. Neither of us will ever be accepted for what we truly are,’ my husband said.
‘You are wrong,’ I said, sweeping out of the room.
But I redoubled my efforts to consolidate the prosperity and security of Burghead, paying special attention to my warriors. It was time to expand my influence outside Burghead and Moray.
I sent word throughout all Moray that any young man who wanted to become a soldier would be granted food and shelter and the chance of glory in service to Moray. We built a larger barracks in the settlement below, and they came swarming.
We would be ready.
Chapter 21
The alert came in the afternoon as Lulach and I basked in the cool shade of the forest not far from where the River Spey emptied out into the firth, the cold water welcome in the summer heat. Lulach had many friends in Burghead and enjoyed their company, but was at that sweet age where he still preferred the company of his mother. He played about in the water, chattering, while I lay in the cool grass.
I loved coming here with my son; the peace and quiet gave me a tranquillity I rarely experienced in Burghead. Without the many demands made on my time there, I was free to plot.
The mormaer at Aberdon to the south-east had recently become a close ally when I’d encouraged some of our traders to travel further south to his land. Caithness was caught up in conflict, but once it was resolved, I would win over the reigning party there. Another five years, I thought, then we would be ready. I could bring my father and Adair back from King Cnut’s service, give them the lands that had been promised to them. And Lulach would be almost ten, the perfect age for him to become a prince.
‘What is that grey-silver line over there?’ he asked, interrupting my plans.
‘It is probably the sea,’ I mused as I stared up at the canopy of trees.
‘No,’ he insisted. ‘The sea is that way. And this is a line going up into the sky.’
I sat up. A beacon fire had been lit a long way down the coast, a silver plume of smoke snaking up into the sky. Occasionally, I would secretly send a riding party to the edge of Moray to test the efficacy of our sentinels; they never disappointed.
But I had sent no such party recently.
Grabbing Lulach, I sped back to Burghead on Allistor.
When we arrived, there was a messenger waiting for us. Still a long way out, a group of men in the king’s purple livery had been seen crossing into Moray along the coast. There were ten of them, hardly an army but enough of a company to draw attention. I could not be sure how many others had arrived to travel alongside them in secret, keeping to the hills and forests undetected. We would not expect the men to arrive at the keep until the next day, possibly even the day after that, but until we knew the purpose of their visit, I resolved to prepare for an attack.
I sent Sinna out to find Gillecomghain. I made sure that all the men of Elgin and Inverness were well armed and ready to fly to our aid the moment they were summoned. I concealed the weapons we had at Burghead around the keep and gave the settlement’s women a dagger each. If the king’s men did attack, they would not find us an easy mark.
As anticipated, it took them two days to reach Burghead. In that time, no other riding party was detected, so I decided to welcome them as guests. They clearly wanted me to think they came in peace; I would respond in kind.
In the end, Gillecomghain went out to meet them. I’d tried to keep him in Burghead to present a strong, unified front with me, as Findlaich and Boedhe had when Crinan came to visit. But he would not heed me.
‘This is your fault,’ he said.
‘Yes, I summoned the king’s guard for the sole purpose of making you miserable.’
He glared at me then mounted his horse. I grabbed the reins, preventing him from moving.
‘Do not say anything to provoke them,’ I warned.
‘I’m far more diplomatic than you give me credit for,’ he said, and with that he left.
At least he had the sense to take ten guards with him – one to match each of the king’s riders.
I waited anxiously all morning, trying and failing to remain calm. I snapped at Sinna over nothing and she hastily retreated to our rooms. The other servants followed suit, staying out of my way. Only when Lulach shrank from my foul mood did I collect myself, apologising to my son and taking him in my arms for a story.
The sound of men’s voices carried up the hill before my sentinel reached me and I hurried into the Great Hall with Lulach. Wanting to appear as though we had just finished our midday meal, I waited until I heard the horses being stabled before emerging with his hand clutched in mine.
‘Welcome, men of Scone!’
All of King Malcolm’s men looked at me and I smiled with satisfaction at their amazement. I looked especially becoming that morning. One of the ladies of Elgin had presented me with a robe the colour of dark moss in a show of gratitude for appointing her husband thane there. I wore my auburn hair rippling down my back in waves as my mother used to. It sparkled in the summer sun.
I looked exactly the way they envisioned the wife of a great mormaer to be: beautiful, motherly, welcoming. They nodded towards Gillecomghain in approval, but he only looked as miserable as always as he sent off his horse to be stabled. I appreciated their attention and smiled all the more sweetly.
‘Let me offer you refreshments. If my husband has not said, whatever we have is at your disposable.’
‘Thank you, my lady,’ one of the guards responded. ‘He has.’
Gillecomghain smirked but I ignored him.
‘Might I ask why you have come all this way?’ I asked politely.
‘You may, my lady, though I am afraid we come on a mournful errand,’ the guard replied. As he spoke, though, I caught him staring at my breasts, the words rehearsed, voice not at all mournful.
‘The great King Malcolm is dead. We have been sent to accompany Gillecomghain to Scone so that he might mourn Malcolm and swear allegiance to his heir Duncan.’
‘Oh,’ I remarked, keeping the turmoil in my head from reaching my expression. King Malcolm, the man I had hated all my life, was gone. These men had not been sent to attack us. But instead of joy or relief, I felt only bitterness that Duncan should be made king so soon. Had he not abandoned me, I would be there beside him, about to be crowned Queen of All Alba.
‘May God bless his soul,’ I added before inviting them in.
We feasted the king’s messengers at dinner and Gillecomghain deigned to stay at the table throughout the meal. Though I should have been relieved, my thoughts were still caught up with Duncan. I tried to distract myself by being a pleasant host and asked after each of the men and their families. They appreciated the attention but I saw the way their eyes constantly darted between Gillecomghain and me.
Despite our best attempts to hide it, I knew they could sense discord. I took great pains to convince them otherwise. If they suspected something was wrong, Gillecomghain would have no one to blame but himself.
When I was sure the guards were in an agreeable mood, I broached a topic I knew would be best discussed in public, where Gillecomghain could not object.
‘Does the invitation to Scone extend to me?’ I asked Erroll, the messenger who seemed to be in charge.
‘Duncan mentioned you would not wish to come,’ Erroll said, weighing his words.
‘Why on earth should I not wish to pay my respects to our future king?’
Erroll looked at his companions. It was clear they had discussed this matter at length.
‘We have heard that you were to be his betrothed but ran away after the Northumbrian attack,’ Erroll replied.
Gillecomghain was about to protest. I shook my head. Thankfully, he caught the movement and pursed his lips. I was on dangerous ground. I could not appear to be contradicting Duncan.
‘He thought you might not feel ready to face him after falling so low,’ Erroll clumsily continued his explanation.
I laughed, perhaps a little loudly.
‘Do I appear fallen to you?’
He gazed around at the lavish hall. I had expanded it to be even larger than it had been in its former glory. It served as a rebuke to Mael Colum and to Duncan and to all who had wronged me.
‘Not in the least,’ he responded, bemused. This pleased me greatly and gave me the courage to carry on.
‘I do not remember events in the way he does,’ I said carefully. ‘But Duncan saved my life. I am forever indebted to him.’
Erroll raised his brows in surprise and perhaps a hint of suspicion.
‘When we arrived at Scone, we were told that the Northumbrian king was close at hand and might attack at any moment. Duncan came to warn me in the night and sent his guards to help me escape.’
‘He gave you use of his guards?’ Erroll asked, still suspicious.
‘Forgive me – they were the king’s guards. And, yes, how else would I have found my way back to Moray?’
I could see him turning this over in his mind.
‘Had I attempted to escape on my own, I surely would have died. But thanks to Duncan’s kindness, I am married to the Mormaer of Moray, a man I love deeply, who is a good and kind ruler and has blessed me with a son. And will bless me with many more, I am sure of it,’ I added, enjoying the fantasy behind my lie. I especially enjoyed the way it made Gillecomghain squirm.
‘Duncan will be gratified to hear it,’ Erroll said.
‘I very much look forward to telling him myself,’ I said. This was no lie.
Gillecomghain bounced his leg and drummed his fingers on the tabletop. I thought he would rebuke me in front of the men, but instead he burst out with a question to which I had not given any thought.
‘Will MacBethad be in attendance?’
The room went quiet, his name acting like a curse when we sat in what should have been his hall, and discussed a crown it was his right to contest.
‘No,’ Errol said, and though I should have been relieved, my heart tightened at the thought.
Gillecomghain seemed to relax after that. Once our visitors had gone to bed, I thought he would slink off, but he followed me into my quarters and hovered in the doorway as Sinna and I began to pack my things.
‘Burghead has grown stronger under your direction, but you alone hold it together,’ Gillecomghain was saying. ‘Your absence so close to the harvest might do harm.’ His clumsy attempt to appeal to my vanity irritated me.
‘I do not think our position so precarious.’
Gillecomghain paced around my quarters as Sinna quietly helped me pack me things.
‘Why do you want to go? Why do you really want to go?’
‘Duncan is to be king and I believe it wise to—’
‘Don’t lie to me,’ Gillecomghain snapped. ‘You’re no good at it and I find it tiresome.’
I glared at him.
‘Perhaps I should go in your place. You have grown reckless of late and might endanger our position.’
‘It is not my recklessness we should fear.’
Gillecomghain charged out of the room, his agitation crashing after him. Perhaps he had argued with his lover once more. He had seemed short-tempered of late, but I did not care to become caught up in his quarrels.
Sinna was folding my dresses with care. I could see her mind turning.
‘Not you too?’ I said.
‘I’m afraid for you,’ she said.
‘Duncan would not harm me in front of everyone at Scone,’ I said, brushing off her concern.
‘That’s not what I’m afraid of,’ she said, placing a hand on mine. ‘Your hatred for him has burned stronger with every year you are not Queen of Alba. Now that he is to be king, I worry you may do or say something you’ll regret.’
I pulled my hand away but returned her gaze. She was right. Gillecomghain was right. The sensible decision was to stay here. Sinna was always sensible, but I could not be, not in this.
‘What do you think you’ll accomplish?’ she asked.
‘I must see the look on his face when he sees me, glowing with the love of my people, made proud by the birth of my son, wife to the second most powerful man in Alba. What need have I to say or do anything else? My very presence will undermine everything he has said about me.
‘Either join us or don’t, I am going,’ I said, my words final.
She agreed to come, unwilling to leave me to my own devices. I was secretly glad as I depended on her counsel, though I hoped I would have no need of it while in Scone. Ruling Moray while simultaneously raising my son had given me that quiet authority I had always longed to possess. I did not have to bully others into submission like Bethoc or flaunt my influence as my mother had done.
Nor was mine an empty power, one that would end in my banishment to a faraway island, as had been my grandmother’s fate. I was rooted in the land, and my people were bound to me. I needed Duncan to see all of this.
*
We left for Scone the next morning, riding south-east until we reached Aberdon, named for the goddess who blessed the river mouth around which the settlement had been founded. We then rode south along the coast, using the ancient roads to make our way to Scone. It was an easier route if longer in duration.
I had allowed Gillecomghain the selection of our guard, but insisted we bring Bram. He had grown invaluable to me, and his affection for Lulach ingratiated him further. Still, Gillecomghain’s nervousness grew day by day, though I could not imagine what triggered it. The king’s guards sensed it as well and took to ignoring him completely, uncomfortable in his presence.
Lulach was my saviour then. Unlike his father, he was desperate to entertain the guards with rambling stories of Burghead in his childish babble and begged them for tales of their former glories, as keen as I had been on such stories at his age; they were happy to oblige.
We reached Scone at nightfall on the tenth day. As we approached the high stone walls, a part of me feared that we would be turned away. I had spent so much of my life awaiting entrance to this magnificent settlement, the seat of power for all of Alba. I had come so close to having it as my own, and it had been snatched from my grasp. But nothing held us back now.
We walked through the gates, under the impressive stone arch. My heart tripped over itself as the massive gate was pulled down behind us. The settlement, enormous from the outside, stretched even further than I had imagined and swarmed with people.
Scone was far wealthier than I had realised. Many of those wandering the streets were dressed in fine clothes and looked as if their every meal was a feast. For all King Malcolm’s treacherous ways, he appeared to have been a generous leader.
At the far side of the settlement stood the fortress of Scone. I had heard it was a wonder, but nothing could have prepared me for the sprawling complex before me. It was both taller and broader than Dunkeld Abbey. As we dismounted, our horses were led to stables so large I wondered if the entirety of Alba stabled at Scone. We wound through corridors and over wide courtyards. People milled everywhere: thanes and their wives, servants, courtiers.
A few of them noticed us, but most were too engrossed in their own conversations to bother with the late arrival of yet another mormaer and his wife. They did not yet know who we were. I recognised a few thanes from Crinan’s retinue, but they returned my nods of greeting with bemused expressions. Perhaps they did not recognise the woman I had grown into.
Anticipation of seeing Duncan appear at any moment made me feel nauseous. I searched the face of every woman we passed, looking for some sign of royalty, wondering if any of them was the beautiful Northumbrian princess, but each woman was as plain as the next, though their finery did much to hide it.
We were led to a large chamber, where Gillecomghain and I were expected to share a bed. Sinna was to sleep with the servants. I rather wished she and he might have traded places, but the room was spacious, and I was sure we could make do.
Gillecomghain lasted only moments in the large chamber before excusing himself under pretext of making sure the horses had been well looked after. I allowed him his little ruse and let him leave in peace. I thought nothing of it, focusing instead on restoring myself from the journey.
A bath was filled for me and I washed off the dust of the long trip. Sinna entertained Lulach, who was running about the room in excitement, jumping on the furs and leaving a trail of chaos in his wake. I watched him from the lavender-scented water as servants kept the tub blissfully hot.
